Friday, June 5, 2009
me:wonder wats in ur head now...another gurl or ur studies......hym:wanna noe another truth?!I STILL LUV ********! eu hapi now..?
i started crying in the dark while my sis were talking to me...
me:since wen...?
hym:since d daey i saw her in sec 2...she has been d onli 1 i had evr luv..n eu were juz my medicine..to get rid of my pain of seein ******** everidae in skwel..i still luv her more dhen aniting in diz world...she's lyke a drug to me..i reli need her in my lyfe bt as if she giv's a fck abt me....
i went to an empty n dark room....i started crying....crying like i had never cried for the past 10 years...
me:so wat,am i just a temporary gf to u just to make u 4get bt her?dares no point of me in ur lyfe coz u will still love her.am i nthg to u?all this while i tot dat u really2 loved me n dat u wud 4get bt her.bt i was wrong...i was deeply in love with u.u didnt knew dat.n this is wat u did to me.u wanted to let go of the burden n heartpain ur feeling,bt in the end, u made some1 suffer bcoz of the burden u tried to put away.i shud had never loved u..............
i cry n cry for 15mins....
hym:yeah..true..dats y diz guilt is stil in my heart..im truly sorie..i gtg..bye.
den my sis came into the room...she asked me y...i asked her to read all my messages...den she was pissed off with it n asked me to chill 1st bfore coming inside my room....i cried fr another 10 mins....finally,i had to stop myself from crying...so i did it n went in to my room...i was quite close wif my sister's bf so i talked to hym on the fone while my sis was talking to hym bfore dat...
i was grateful to have friends in my lyfe..i txt syaakirah...it was 1:24am..i tot dat she wud b asleep...but she was still awake..told her everything..den she asked me to chill.....she's the only 1 dat wud b there wen i have problems....with some of my other friends like dayana,saqinah,zahirah,amalia n adilah...without them,this werld means nothing to me...